above the influence

I hear you reminiscing about
your sweaty lovers in the 80s
and how you were a skinny chain smoker,
a street girl with a lice tiara.
One of them used to
push your head down,
and you enjoyed it and thought
you were betraying mum and dad,
you were betraying that smiling old lady who gave you a crucifix
you were betraying the suffraggetes,
you were betraying your 8-year-old self.

·

Boys in their summer clothes.
Aw, you observe them.

You know this part by heart:
one of them will approach you,
and reach for your lips.
His breath will be smoky and hazy,
like a warm and damp jungle,
and his mouth carousel will get you dizzy, but still
you're betraying somebody, some day
that nice lil old lady who told you nice words and now's dead,
some day and some where
betraying the ribbons in your toddler hair,
but you keep kissing him.
You're dizzy.

©Text: VICTORIA BARDOT, 2013, all rights reserved.
©Picture: Paz de la Huerta